What is a Pangolin?

A member of the Platypus and Dragon family, the Pangolin is an oft overlooked creature. Don't be fooled by its "cute" appearance. These armored beasts are mother nature's anti-termite tanks. Entomologists and Zoologists agree that without pangolins earth would be overrun by subterranean terrorists literally undermining the bedrock of our society. Paranoid Pangolins is about addressing another kind of "Termite"... the Termites undermining modern society's core values with secret and sinister intent.

Skeptical? Just look at the evidence below:

The American Flag? DESECRATED!

The US Military? WOKE!

Law Enforcement? HAMSTRUNG!

The Pledge of Allegiance? KNEELED!

Red Meat? PLANT BASED! - OPTION 2 "GRASS FED!"

American Exceptionalism? FRENCH!

The show "24"? CANCELED!

Pee Wee Football? CONCUSSIONLESS!

Our Cats? LESBIAN!

Our dogs? GROOMED and GAY

All of this is taking place right under your nose. But is that any surprise? Human nasal passages are short and incapable of sniffing out termites in cardboard let alone the rock hard termite colonies found near the horn of Africa. Our Paranoid Pangolins are wise creatures who sniff out more than just insects.... they sniff out THE TRUTH!

As the proud owner of a Paranoid Pangolin, you will join an elite group of savvy investors who see "the game" for what it is. For once YOU'LL be a step ahead of THEM! Don't get caught by surprise. If you can't see them coming, your Pangolin will SMELL them coming!